Making choices, taking risks, learning to trust

I started off this year with the intent of being decisive and taking risks I would normally be too scared to take. (I'm not talking skydiving or bungee jumping risks here. I mean like introducing myself to someone new and painting something other than flowers. Anything other than flowers.) The problem is, I have often regretted the spontaneous decisions I've made, and the risks I've taken have rarely paid off. It seems I don't really know when a risk is worth taking or when a decisions needs time.

I moved to California with 3 weeks notice, but only because my job wouldn't let me leave sooner. I made the decision in practically no time at all. I was so sure I was following God's will, and maybe I was. But it's important to remember that when God tells you to take one step in a certain direction, it doesn't mean that you can safely assume where He's leading and immediately break into a run in said direction. I had to learn that lesson the hard way. I still don't know if I learned or did what God meant for me to learn or do in California. I can't say I regret the experience as a whole, but I do regret my overconfidence and what I now realize was a misunderstanding of how trust works.

This weekend has been eye opening in that I have seen clearly God's hand in the events that unfolded, too perfect to be mere coincidence. And now I am faced with a decision to make. At least, I think there is a decision to be made. And while my faith and trust has slowly been rebuilding, I'm terrified of making the same mistake of jumping ahead of God again. I want to be brave, but I don't want to be foolish. I want to be decisive, but I don't want to be rash. I want to live life the way God intended. Which I'm realizing may be nothing like I ever planned or dreamed.

Little Miracles

I've been a nurse in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for all of my nursing career (all whopping 5 years) and that has led me to the following conclusion: It takes nothing short of a miracle to bring a child into this world. Parents, especially those with uncomplicated pregnancies and healthy children, should never take this gift for granted. Babies are God's greatest masterpiece and it is no light matter to be entrusted with their care. It is my prayer that I never take for granted the awesome Creator that formed these small miracles nor forget the enormity of my responsibility every day I walk in to work.