Is there a point?

I feel like I should blog something. Over the past two weeks I've had moments of inspiration, but lacked the willpower to just sit down and commit a few minutes to writing. I'm not sure why, if it's a fear that what I write is just meaningless rambling that adds to the clutter of mediocrity already plaguing the internet, or just a lack of motivation. Probably a little bit of both. Anyways, my life is still a bit unstable, what with not having a job and still waiting on movers to bring in my stuff, so I've been finding all sorts of excuses to not write, blog or otherwise. I really really do want to write this novel, but I'm reluctant to start. That's always been my problem: getting started. I get inspired to do something--write a novel, take the RNC Exam, lose weight--and I plan and plan, but never actually get to that first step. It disgusts me. I want to accomplish these things, but I always let the fear of failure and/or rejection take over and keep me from even trying. I've always been this way. Even as a child I would always sit out on new games because I was afraid I'd mess up or lose right away. So I became a spectator. Always sitting on the sidelines while the other children played, and then while my peers lived. I don't want be a spectator anymore. I want to be able to look the risk of failure in the face and say, "I'm not afraid of you." So I'll start small. I'll try to commit to a weekly blog, especially now, while my life is still a mess and fiction-writing needs to move down on the list of priorities. At least blogging can keep my writing skills (ha!) intact. But whenever inspiration hits, I'll sit myself down for however long it takes to turn that idea into words, music, art. You hear that, you big, empty void that is the internet? You shall keep me accountable.